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5 Things To Know If You’re Inexplicably Nervous Before Every Date

I get nervous about pretty much anything. Job interviews, public speaking, standing on line for a roller coaster, asking someone to move if theyre sitting on the outside seat on the train you know, all the normal stuff.

The thing is, Im not a shy person or even a tad bit socially awkward. I have friends, I do well at my job and I actually really enjoy being in front of a crowd and presenting. But the nervousness before it all makes me want to hide under a pile of blankets and never speak to a human being again.

So, you can imagine how much fun dates must be for me. So much fun in fact that I NEVER go on them.

Ive come up with every excuse in the book and Ive even ghosted boys before (not proud of it) in order to save myself from the gut-wrenching feeling of butterflies. ButterfliesOK. Theyre more like bees stinging the inside of my stomach tormenting me with the chance of awkwardness and worst of all, small talk.

My nervousness normally doesnt hold me back from anything except dates, and I figure its because theres a 50 percent chance Ive worked myself up for no reason and theyllend miserably. Or that continuously putting myself out there to be let down makes me want to throw up.

The Psychology Of First Impressions [Body & Mind]

I remember when I was younger, I would be so nervous before a dance recital or a class presentation to the point where I would shake. My mom would tell me that being nervous was a good feeling, that whatever it was I was doing was just worth it and if I didnt feel this way it wouldnt be as important.

Ive carried that advice through most of my adult life thus far. Ive gotten up in front of a student center full of peers to defend why Spider Man is the best super hero of all time, crushed countless job interviews and performed in front of hundreds of people.

So, why did I not back down from all these things, but I cant get over it enough to sit down for a drink with a member of the opposite sex?

If you get nervous like I do, Ive come up with five ways to trick yourself into going on a date:

1. Pretend its a job interview.

I mean, in a way it kind of is. Relationships require effort and work and work is just another term for job. You need to qualify, they need to qualify to your expectations, and boom, this is now strictly business.

Youve charmed your way into a job by talking to a stranger before, where you went over your assets, strengths, weaknesses and above all your personality. So do the same thing, just without the resume.

2. Youre just making a new friend.

While I know we all hope to go out on a date to meet someone in a romantic way, it might just be easier to look at it from a friendly standpoint.

Think about it this way: All the friends you have right now started out as complete strangers, so you obviously did something right to make them stick around.

3. Everyone goes on dates.

I dont know what it is about reminding yourself that everyone in the world goes through the same experiences as you that makes everything seem better, but it just does.

Youre nowhere near the only human who has gone through a first date or first date jitters, hell, youre probably not even the only one in the bar youre going to thats on a first date.

Theres probably some psychological term for this phenomenon, but just remember youre not alone.

4. Theyre probably just as nervous.

I dont care if youre going on a date with King Tut himself, hes probably nervous too.

Clearly theres something there that made him want to pursue you, even if it is just sex. So he still has the fear of striking out. Trust me, the blow to his ego will most likely be a lot worse than yours.

5. Youll never know until you try.

You can sit there and talk yourself out of this date, making your stomach turn over a million times. Or you can suck it up, put on your big girl pants, get your confidence going and give this your best shot.

Youll never find love, a relationship, friends or jobs if you sit around and let a little nervousness hold you back.

When it comes down to it, youve just got to do it. Sure you might be shaking a bit, and itll probably be awkward at first, but eventually itwill go away and you might end up having a nice time.

And if all else fails, grab yourself a drink, take the edge off and let the vodka tonic do all the talking.

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